Living with my fingers in the socket
Trudge through a mosh pit filmed
like the blair witch project,
a walkman in my back pocket
trashed and awkward, but don't interact often,
I speak soft words but internally caustic
eternally stuck in the midst of too many options

I've been lost for minute,
Severe tunnel vision
Been struggling with personal limits
Am I committed to a gimmick?

Michael in The Office
giving off a false image
Acting like a boss with that rap music video on.
This electric city hectically fitting inside of the pitfalls

I feel like pawn,
Not really involved in decisions that go on in my head
Placing every bet against my own success
Been conditioned to these shallow breaths
Feeling powerless but know you cannot rest
Just keep running, aimlessly.
For twenty fucking years with a vacancy,

contemplating how I really claim to be


(Bridge: Mimi Silver)

Try to duck down
Like I can get out
Crossfire machine-grade loud
Wiring salt from skin now
Seep the motivation out
Seep the Motivation out



Aimless,
for twenty fucking years
contemplating how I really became this

staring at a video game
aiming down the barrel of an enemy player,
Tracer.
Wishing I could look like her,
Wait.
Mentally tracing her figure in envy and
reconsidering my inner energy
while everything about me unravels

Everything about me unravels